April 23, 2015 jennaroberts

Balance Act: Walking the Intestinal Tightrope

Paleo, Gluten-free, Sugar-free, Vegan, SIBO, SCD, FodMaps . . . There are so many ways to manage your gut health through diet. After you taper off of any of these control zones, there is almost too much freedom. It’s easy to slip into old habits and find yourself relapsing into a slice of pizza with soda.

Rather than bouncing between free-for-all and extreme restrictions, I am now seeking out a more refined golden ticket, that of balance. Perhaps this will protect me from the prison of strict limitations in the future. In the meantime, I might even feel better everyday.

Crappy Feeling vs. Crap Food Cravings

Each of these diets has taught me lessons about what foods make me feel good, and which ones lead to belly aches or jittery highs. For each, I seek out a quantity of allowance that lets me relish a treat without much suffering.

Coffee is not actually required to be alert, and I do not enjoy the panics that come with it. Maybe a few times each year, though, I will let myself sip on a friends’ mocha, or I’ll order a decaf.

The rush and crash of sugar highs are exhausting, but I am not giving up on ice cream for life either. Nirvana it’s not, but I continue to practice more control than, say, a 12-year-old at a slumber party.

Shall I eat gluten again? Oh yes, I shall. I simply have decided to wait until they have better regulations on Round Up in wheat harvesting before I test out my physical response to eating it again. I just don’t want that crap in my system anymore.

Thai restaurant carb loads of rice noodles and sugary sauce are delicious. So is Thom Yum Soup though, and I can choose this option that will not leave me speeding home like a tuk tuk in Bangkok.

Self-Flagellation leads to more Flatulation

Every food choice is an opportunity to allow myself to feel better the day after, or to treat myself. If I need a moment of celebration or self-pity, maybe I will allow a whiskey with a decadent dessert. It’s essential to simply ensure that every week does not manifest a new reason to earn an aberration from a path of healthy eating habits.

The goal is to not beat yourself up for choosing unwisely here and there. It only creates more self-pity party possibilities. Studies have shown that feeling guilt while eating treats actually increases the ill effects on your system. So relish and enjoy when you make the choice to fulfill your inner snack fiend.

The Dance of the Cold Turkey

Some food choices become an easy habit of conscious choice; the benefit of how I feel afterward outweighs the itch for fake food. In my case, I have decided to remain totally gluten-free, mostly dairy-free, sporadically sugar-free, and avoid most processed foods.

Other restrictions, like sugar, give me insight into the daily challenges of heroin addicts. In these cases, I will do the dance of cold turkey until I find the sweet spot of appreciating sweets with an ease satisfaction.

The Gobblin’ Grooves

How to do the dance: Cut out an impulse food completely for a month or more. Then gradually allow it back in to gain control over the addiction.

If you find yourself killing that box of brownies in two days, you might want to take brownies off of your shopping list options. If one beer becomes five without much forethought, maybe move to kombucha for a month.

Keep a journal on how much you eat of it and how you feel. When you feel lousy, maybe taper off it if. Even if you have outside circumstance that may result in your feeling lousy, just make a new system that you are only allowed this treat when you are feeling good. This protects from emotional eating habits as well as your overall health.

Becoming your own Best Parent

It’s up to you to be your own best guardian when it comes to dietary choices. You can do it with positive affirmations and healthier replacements, rather than Catholic School rulers and repressing all snacks. Find the zone where you feel good and enjoy eating.

Finally, don’t go hating on people who dip Cheetoes in bacon mayonnaise and swish it back with diet soda. That’s their choice, so save the lectures. Be your own best self. Trust that you are on your path, and they are on theirs. Your path will most likely need a lot less toilet paper down the line.

February 14, 2015February 15, 2015 jennaroberts

Crack in the Sugar Cube

My father still eats like a pre-teen on vacation. He will go through bags of cookies and chocolates, washed back by sodas, then refuse dinner. He rejects the idea that his arthritis or fibromyalgia will be affected by a change in his diet, or by a more active lifestyle. He isn’t fat, pills regulate his acid reflux and gerd, and his stomach doesn’t ache from the candy. So he doesn’t associate the sugar with the suffering, or, like most, he chooses not to.

When I think of his eating habits and health, I feel grateful for that little protozoan parasite that forced me to face my food. Due to candida and SIBO challenges, I have had to remove sugar from my diet multiple times, including all carbs that can be turned into sugars that feed yeast and bacteria. Amazingly, no matter how much fat I eat in the form of nuts and meat, I lose weight whenever I quit sugar.

Internal Guardians

This week, I ate my first pear in 6 months, and it was sheer decadence. As I ease slowly back into allowance, I notice how quickly my mind impulses for ice cream and chocolate. I am still just a child who yearns for her treats. I simply have also grown into the mother who sets loving boundaries.

There is a part of that motherly self who is scared that I will slip back into old habits someday. This makes me feel like an addict. This, in turn, makes me feel like a control freak. It is likely a bit of both.

America’s Fix

Sugar is the innocent party drug that soon becomes the all-consuming heroine. America is hopped up on it far worse than any narcotic. Then the subsequent candida’s neurotransmitters add to this vice by creating an actual urgency to consume more of the sweet stuff. Our country is being controlled by a fungal parasite that is causing far more actual anxiety than any terrorist threat.

This is not true everywhere. When I gave my Taiwanese elementary students a taste of Jelly Bellies, they made faces of disgust and said, “Tai tien!” for ‘Too sweet’. Can you imagine American children, or even many adults, uttering those words?

People try to lose weight by going “low-fat”, only to find hopeless results. The cruelty of American diet foods is that they are often higher in sugars, or worse, chemical sugar substitutes. It is nearly impossible to quit sugar without quitting all processed foods. It might be mind boggling to have that much time to cook, but it is the most effective way out.

Dependence Enablers

Mainstream doctors often refuse to see this association between food and health, and do not request that their patients make a dramatic diet change. It’s “cheaper” and easier to take a pill. I have been told that I would need to take Prilosec every day for the rest of my life. I went on the anti-inflammatory diet for a month and that particular health issue went away. A dermatologist recently informed me that eczema has no relationship to food. Then why does my skin get more red and itchy after eating certain items?

This blindness confounds me, especially from those who have taken the Hippocratic oath. Doctors today are afraid to ask their patients to do something that they themselves cannot conceive of doing. Have more faith in yourself than they have in you.

Anything You Cannot Quit, Owns You

It has been one of the greater challenges in my life to give up sugar. Over time, I will most likely return to this sullen mistress, and then build up the will power to tear myself away again. I may even delay until the necessity arises if my system loses a fight with the side effects of high sugar intake again. I aim to make peace with balanced choices as I move forward.

If you consume sugar daily, be brave enough to face this slave driver head on. You can start slowly, by maybe taking one little month off of only refined sugar. Even if you still allow carbs, fruits and honey, you will notice a difference. Anything that you cannot quit, owns you. Take your body back.

January 31, 2015 jennaroberts

Viva la Resolution! Viva la Resistance!

You made your resolutions almost a month ago. Are you still sticking to them with that determined hope of a new way of being? Or, are you already flailing in your failings with hopeless distress or apathy? Let’s charge forth into this non-January with a new thought for our goals and dreams.

Here’s the cycle many of us know all too well:

– Make a Goal! I’m going gluten-free, baby!

– Begin. Feel hopeful and adamant. Hey now, this GF bread brand is alright.

– Rock it. Happy Dance! I said no to pizza and felt fine! Yes!

– Cheat on your plan, breaking the continuum. Damn you, chocolate chip cookie peddler.

– Beat yourself up. Why do I even bother? I’m going to fail anyhow.

– Half-assed attempt to restart, now in a state of mild fear of failure with depression. Sigh. No pizza for me.

– Repeat with less verve; spiral through each step until you give up and return to the old pattern. When I found out beer has gluten, I said to hell with it. The gas isn’t that bad, right? Right?

Simply doing this again is pointless. How do you break free and actually accomplish your goal? First, look at the list and ask, “Where did this path go astray?”

Consider that the first flop was not the cheat. The real loss was the self-abuse for not being perfect in your trajectory. It is beating yourself up that actually affects your capacity to continue.

Increase your Value — Be Kind to You to Increase your Success Value

Think of an incredibly valuable stock. It doesn’t make a strait line up and up, it wiggles up and down on a steady rise. We don’t pull out of our mutual fund because it drops a few points, so why do we ask ourselves to have zero moments of fallback.

You go from being a hot cheerleader for Team You, to being the school bully. Maybe it’s best to simply become the good teacher to yourself, and encourage diligence with acceptance.

Self-loathing is the beast that whispers songs of the hopeless. If you make a mistake, keep the muzzle on this bastard and release the virulent Care Bears of Forgiveness and Fortitude. Get back up and return to the new habit with dedication and patience.

The word Resolution is from Latin resolutionem meaning: a process of reducing things into simpler forms.

So let us resolve to simplify this process. If the goal you set is overwhelming you, break it down into a manageable practice. Then build on it over a longer span of time.

Give yourself one month to get the hang of being gluten-free or sugar-free or coffee-free rather than judging your ability early on, or taking on multiple at once. The first few weeks are when you are adjusting to your emotional, mental, and physical relationship to food. Ease up and know it gets easier after the hump.

Ben's Actual Dieting Chart — Ben’s Actual Diet Chart

Rather than hoping to completely transform yourself on every level, choose a focus. Benjamin Franklin kept a calendar and abstained from one vice at a time. This gave him the space to observe the practice and see the results more clearly. Witness yourself taking ownership over your will and stay inspired to keep going.

Dive into your month ahead with the same zest for possibility, but with a kinder voice in your head and a more gradual path to climb. Allow yourself to enjoy the journey, and you will likely get further than you have in the past with whips and floggers. Unless you’re into that kind of kink.

December 14, 2014 jennaroberts

Huffing through the Holidays

Holiday Temptations — One way to inhale. Read on for another technique.

For the last three years, I have either been on a crazy diet or coming off of one at this seasonal feasting time of year. This is for real health reasons, as I am not a masochist.

Each event becomes a religious examination of my will, and ends in either a testimony to triumph or an accursed confessional as my symptoms flare up again. I am here today to preach some ways to stay in the light this season.

First of all, bring your own snacks and desserts with you. Most of my diets have allowed crushed nuts and coconut cream, which can be blended with cinnamon, cardamom powder, nutmeg, powdered cloves, honey, and vanilla extract. This is a respectably delicious experience.

You might find yourself staring down an item at a holiday dinner and getting that twitch. First, walk away. Breathe. Tell yourself that you’re doing great. Snack on something else. Go and find someone interesting to talk to about anything but food. (Note: If your relatives are freaks who you struggle to enjoy, pretend that you are a cultural anthropologist and interview them about their strange histories.)

Yet again, you find you are standing before it. The temptation is getting too much, so dare yourself. Pick it up very consciously, mouth closed tight, and hover it beneath your nose. Pause, and inhale its essence. Huff it as though you were eating it. Then place it back down, laugh along with your staring family and friends, and feel impressed at your incredible will power.

This odd tactic reminds me that I am making a choice. I also get some sort of fix out of the aroma. It’s not for everyone though. If you find whipped cream trailing out of your nose the next day, you went too far.

WARNING: If you are allowed to drink on your diet and are already drunk, or inebriated in another fashion, this is not a good time to test your resolve to the sniff challenge. In that case, maybe go outside and take up smoking.

Obviously that is a terrible idea. Do NOT take up smoking cigarettes.

Instead, I recommend vaporizing herbal essences from Holi Smokes. They are a wonderful small company that produces herbal vape tinctures that have calming or uplifting subtle effects. It’s not much different for your lungs than being in a steam room, as they are in a vegetable extract base.

Vaping herbal tinctures relax my cravings for emotional eating. I feel like I am treating myself to a delight, and it distracts me from the food table.

Whatever you do to pull through the holidays, know that other people on weird diets are with you. You can do this. Call upon your spiritual guides, give prayer a go, and sing your own praises for each treat you did not eat.

Happy Holidays to you All!

Check out Holi Smokes HERE

I recommend that your vape pen container is made of glass, since these essential oils eat up plastic.

(Editor’s Note: Jenna did not receive any compensation or discounts from Holi Smokes for this promotion. She just likes them.)

December 11, 2014 jennaroberts

Be That Turkey

I can drag out that last box of cookies in the food supply for weeks. Meanwhile, I continue to allow myself the free taste of fried orange chicken at the mall, and the potluck cheesecake as I agonize over how much I am going to miss these delights.

Turkey Ice Capades! Go Cold, Turkey, Go!

The quitting date gets pushed further, and I am not really even enjoying the slow sentimental release. It’s like a soap opera death scene where every single character has to have their last moment in the hospital goodbyes. Just let the woman die already, she got hit by that yacht weeks ago! But, I’ll never forget you, apple strudel.

In my many diet starts, I have found that going cold turkey is the least painful option. Simply set a clear date that best suits your life. Quitting the week before your birthday is jumping on the wagon trail to doom town. If your work is especially stressful and involves free burgers and cookies that week, maybe wait until that program is completed.

If your work is always stressful though, just start already. If your doctor is giving you a squinted stare down with acronyms such as IBS, just own the moment and make the switch fast and firm. Eating right will lower your stress levels once you have a grip on it, especially if you’re giving up that “white pony” of refined sugar.

‘Going cold turkey’ is a phrase coined among drug addicts and alcoholics. Anyone who has given up sugar or gluten knows the cold shakes that come from a warm brownie set before you. Sugar lights up the same part of the brain as cocaine or heroine. Gluten and dairy break down into protein chains that have similar effects as morphine. It is fair to say that you are a brave soul to enter your own private rehab for any food habits.

Once you quit your smack, be prepared with snacks. A chewy item for a gluten fix, a sweet item for sugar highs, or a coconut cream substitute for dairy can appease the munchies. Carry appetite suppressants such as nuts or apples with you, and drink tulsi tea to balance your digestion and lower your stress levels. Drinking a lot of water and tea can also make things go more swimmingly as you detoxify.

As you change your eating habits, your body needs time to adjust, and your willpower needs time to build. You might find your energy levels bouncing, emotional crashes, abnormal hunger, or that you are more irritable than usual. Trust that this is a temporary state. After the hump of the first three weeks, it gets much easier.

It is essential to let your family and friends know that you need some extra support during the beginning. Teasing and enticing you is crap, and they should owe you a foot massage for each infraction. Pep talks, kind interventions, and discretion with ice cream consumption are acts of love that you should feel lucky to have.

While encouragement is grand, no one can do this for you. It is up to you to say good words to yourself that motivate your daily choices. Find your own serenity prayer to pull you through. Even the simple words, “I got this”, repeated in moments of craving, can bring your strength up.

Do it. Empty out your cupboard of the conflict item, go find some recipes that replace your usual meals and start cooking. It’s all a lot easier and more dignified.

Honor that you are a bad ass for taking on a challenge that terrifies many. If those who are blissfully unaware of food rehab tease you about it, just know that they are scared of your ultimate willpower. Anything non-essential that you cannot give up for one month, owns you. You are owning your life. Be that turkey.

Belly Bubblings

Motivation